


Regrets

by Arwen88



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 23:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13421487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arwen88/pseuds/Arwen88
Summary: Spock watches videos Amanda sent him before the Narada incident.





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Cow-T, first week, prompt "traguardo" here as goal/objective, and for the Maritombola (prompt 54, "the latest news from the family") of LDF.  
> The amazing yuppu proofread this <3

Spock wasn't really sure what he was doing in front of his computer. He knew that showing feelings was not a very vulcan way to act, it had been drilled into his brain by his father since he was able to walk and talk and to be a proper emotionless vulcan had been his ultimate goal for his whole life. Yet his mother first and then his father had told him that vulcans do in fact have feelings, all of them, and it wasn't a fault of his half human biology if he had felt. Then again brood over what had happened in the past wasn't a logical thing to do either, not by any standard, were they vulcans or humans.  
Still Spock sat there, watching in silence as the video message his mother had left him slowly rolled on his display, showing him his mother. Still alive, still happy even if a touch worried about him - if he was eating enough on the academy grounds, if he was too cold down there. She always asked those questions, chit chatting some would say, making sure her son was alright she would have said.  
Lately, Spock hadn't found the time to answer to her lasts two messages, caught up in the exams and the mess with the Kobayashi Maru, but his mother had sent him another message anyway even if he hadn't answered yet to the first. She wanted to know if he was alright, if he had anything nice to recount her about that person she was sure he was seeing - she said with a fond smile that a mother knows, even when the son doesn't say anything.  
He hadn't told her anything about Uhura, not about his work on the Kobayashi Maru being questioned because a cadet had managed to do something with the code. In those days before the Narada incident, that had seemed so important that Spock felt he had no time to spare, that his mother would certainly understand the logic behind him postponing his answer while he tried to understand just how a cadet with no sign on his curriculum of computer courses had been able to break through his complicated - perfect - code and manage to win a scenario designed to be unbeatable.  
Now it didn't seem so important as he watched his mother talk, readjusting her veil over her greying hair as a breath of wind came from the windows behind her. She was sitting in Sarek's studio and the hour on the message said she had recorded it in the afternoon, probably as per routine before going out to attend to her garden as the sun was a bit more inclement to her body.  
Spock swallowed the desire to show his emotions as his mother asked in her message if he needed anything, if he had enough sweaters and in the end saying that she was going to knit him a new one anyway. That she couldn't wait to see him again.  
In the solitude of his room Spock let his composure go and finally he bent over with a soft sound and let the tears roll down his cheeks, the objective of appearing a proper vulcan not so much important anymore.


End file.
